Things I learned in 20 years

Two decades. Here are some things I learned about life, about earth, about people, about myself:

  1. 1. No one actually cares.

We are raised with the fear of being judged. Always be careful what you wear, how much you reveal. Be careful how you behave. Just be careful because people are watching.

But I realized that people actually don’t care at all.

You may think that everyone is looking or judging you, but truth is, they’re not. And even if they are, they’re not gonna remember it. They will look at you, and then look away again. They won’t go to bed at night and think ‘I can’t believe she did that’ because NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES about how you dressed that day, or how loud you laughed that one time while you were on the phone on the bus.

  1. 2. Everyone is going through their own shit.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but it connects to the first point. People don’t care because they have their own shit. Every single person you see when you’re out in the city has their own life. They will go home to their families, their friends, their girlfriends. Some will go home to their pets. Some just go home and are alone.

They all have their own lives, just like you have yours. They have their own problems, their own thoughts in their heads. People don’t care because they have their own shit to care about.

  1. 3. Everyone is equal.

No matter what race, what gender, what sexuality. We are all human beings. We all breathe the same air. We all inhabit the same planet. We are all in this together.

So, yes…We are all equal.

No one is above anyone else. You are not more worthy of life than someone with a different skin tone. You are not more powerful than someone with a different gender. You are not a better person than someone with a different sexuality.

We all deserve to be treated with kindness, and love, and respect. Because we are here together. WE ARE ALL EQUAL. We love, and we feel, and we breathe. Human. Equal.

       4. Forgiveness

You are not the mistakes you’ve made in the past. You are not the wrong turn you still take every single time. You are not what other people think of you.

We need to be able to forgive in order to move forward. Forgive others and forgive ourselves. Because if we don’t, we will always be stuck in that one place. That place that is so empty except for the voice that always asks ‘what if…’, and then we try to imagine how life would have turned out if we maybe didn’t make that one mistake we are so desperately holding on to til this day. And we keep living in that What If.

Guess what?! It happened. It is in the past. You can’t go back and change it. You can see where you are now, and how you can get to where you want to go. But you can’t go back.

We need to learn to live with the decisions we’ve made, and the decisions other people made that may have hurt us. We need to realize that we had a reason for making these decisions and that that reason was valid. Or maybe it was just stupid. But again, it is in the past.

Forgive yourself for being stupid that one time. Forgive them for leaving and hurting you.

Forgive and move on.

  1. 5. You should go and love yourself.

Self love. A very underrated topic. But once you practice it, it will literally change your whole view on life.

We always talk about love. Romantic love. Family love. Platonic love. But there is one really important love that we always forget about.

Self love.

The love that you give yourself is probably the best love you can ever give and receive. It is about inner peace. It is about respect and acceptance. Confidence. It is about how you let others treat you.

Love yourself so much that no one else has to.

  1. 6. Come and go.

Everything is temporary. People will come and go out of your life so fast, it will leave your head spinning. You will feel joy, and it will be replaced by sadness, but that, too, will pass.

That’s the way it is. Everything comes and goes.

  1. 7. Cut the poison out.

You are allowed to cut things out of your life. You are allowed to cut people out of life.

Not everyone shares your views on life. Some will hate the way you think. Some will always tear you down. Some won’t let you breathe.

It is okay to say goodbye to what hurts you. It does not make you a bad person if you decide to let someone go who makes you feel like shit. Even if that person is someone close to you.

You are the one who chooses who gets to stay or not. If there is someone in your life who is not helping you in any way, let that person go. Cut all the poisonous people out because they are not gonna bring you anywhere in life. Be selfish. You are allowed to do that.

  1. 8. The world revolves around you.

People always like to say ‘The world does not revolve around you’. But that is wrong. Because MY world does revolve around me. Just like YOUR world revolves around you. And HIS world revolves around him.

Everybody has a different reality. Everyone has their own life to take care of. So yes, our worlds literally revolve around us.

You do you. You work on your own dreams and goals. You do whatever the hell you want. Because this is your world and as long as you’re not harming others or yourself, it doesn’t matter what you do.

Just do you, and focus on what you want in life, and work for it.

You’ll be fine.

There are so many more things I could talk about but that would turn into a novel, then. These eight lessons are the most important ones I have learned. I can’t wait to see what else I learn in the next ten, twenty, thirty years.

Happy (belated) Birthday to me :))))))))



I want to talk about feelings real quick. Feelings are what make moments so sweet. Feelings are what make memories a place we love to visit over and over again.

Feelings are what make us human.

Personally, I am a very emotional person. I have a loud laugh. I scream when I see a pretty sunset or the moon. I cry when I see someone else cry on TV. I just love to feel things.

But lately, I have been told a lot that I am overreacting, exaggerating or that my laugh is too loud. And in that moment I start to question myself. I start to feel ashamed.

But I realized something…I am alive. I am breathing. I am FEELING. And what’s there to be ashamed about?

I used to be empty. The only thing I felt was sadness and darkness, consuming me completely. I felt that way because I had so much pain and anger inside of me, and I didn’t even realize it. So all this bad and negative stuff was piling up without any release, and it was eating me up.

When I finally allowed myself to feel again, when I started talking about what was bothering me; I was overwhelmed. I was so overwhelmed with all this anger and pain that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t leave my room. I couldn’t leave the house.

But then a weight lifted from my shoulders, and I started to work through all this negative energy. One by one, I ticked off another bad thing that happened in the past from my list. I cried, I screamed, I punched my pillow. But I was letting go.

I had no idea. All these years I was clueless.

My heart was screaming at me all this time to just let it go free.

It is important to feel. And it is important to give your feelings a space and a voice. It may be scary to allow yourself to finally admit to some things that are heavy on your chest. You may not even realize that there is anything negative in your heart at all. But once you let them go, you will realize what it’s like to fully breathe again.

Take those painful feelings and memories and experiences, and work through them. Cry. Scream. Get angry.

And then you need to say goodbye to them.

It is no longer something you need to hold onto.

Take the good and happy memories. And live through them again. And then you put them in a safe spot, and continue making new ones.

What I’m trying to say…Just feel. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up. If something is bothering you, talk about it. If you’re sad, talk about it. If you’re angry, talk about it.

Don’t bury it all inside your walls. Because, eventually, it will pile up and when there’s too much negative stuff, you will burst.

Feel with all you’ve got. Don’t be ashamed to cry. If someone tells you your laugh is too loud, laugh louder. Because, dammit, you are alive, and you are here to feel!

So laugh, cry, dance, scream. Go out into the world and feel, and when you’re done feeling one thing, go and feel another.

Just let it out.

xoxo Josi

#FEELS youtube video